When you’re missing the beauty and just need to breathe

He got on one knee on the lakeshore, holding my hands and my heart. His words were loving and kind; his eyes saw into me deeply.

“These past nine months have been the hardest, most redemptive and most restorative of my entire life. I want to spend all of this life and the next loving you deeply, wholly and sacrificially. I would be so honored if you would be my loving wife.”

Eyes full of tears and bursting heart, I said yes.

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When your dreams come with preparations and deadlines and tasks, it’s easy to stop breathing in the beauty. Our wedding day is coming very soon, with all its sweetness and beauty, and I’m making my dress and doing my own makeup and probably my hair. We’re booking tickets, writing a covenant and vows. And when I’m not careful to remember this is the gift I’ve awaited for 30 years, part of me longs to wish away these precious moments between “I will” and “I do.”

I know I’ve done this before, with jobs, ministry, even travel. Strange how we can dream for so long, but when dreams show up in the flesh, in everyday skin-and-bones, we forget to savor them. We forget we’re living in the deep-running grace of a good Father. We wish away our seasons, longing for the next and the next and the next.

It’s just been a week since I said yes to an invitation to forever, and already I need a moment to inhale and remember.

This is what I’ve longed for.

This is what I’ve prayed for.

This is the fulfillment of years of faith and doubt and clinging to hope.

This is the faithfulness of God in my life.

So I’m carving out time in my too-busy schedule to sit in stillness. I’m sipping coffee and looking through our gorgeous photos (courtesy of our incredible and talented friend Justin Wright). I’m journaling slowly with brimming eyes and typing these words to you. I’m choosing to focus on the sweetness and goodness, not the stress.

And sure enough, that stress is melting anyway. My heart is filling up with gratitude and peace. I’m remembering that the tasks and deadlines don’t matter after all – because there is love and joy and life to be lived here. Everything still needs to get done, but none of it seems quite as pressing.

This is a discipline we need, isn’t it? I know I do. This longing to pass over the planning and preparations will turn into a longing for something else if I don’t savor. I don’t want to wish away our early married days, my first moments as a new mom with all the long nights, the toddler years with the mess and terrible twos.

Today, if you’re stressed and overwhelmed by all your to-dos, maybe just take a moment to breathe. Close your eyes and remember – what is it that is the fulfillment of some other season’s longing? Let’s pause and breathe in that beauty and savor this season.
Did this strike a chord? If so, I made this free ebook on how to live a meaningful life just for you 🙂 Just click the link to get it, and I’ll also send encouragement and friendly notes, plus new posts.